If You're Not Wearing A Blanket Out Then You Have Zero Fashion Sense

(DailyBeast) — Street style takes a dismal turn in February when, at least on the East Coast, it simply becomes too cold to look good. Gloves, hats, and mittens are now essential parts of outdoor life. But in the streets of some of the world’s most fashionable cities, men are amplifying their scarves to giant proportions. That’s because they’re wearing blankets. Perhaps taking a page out of the Snuggie playbook, blankets have become the latest fashion trend to take hold on streets from Florence to New York, where men (and even a few women) are wearing blankets instead of scarves or coats.

I like to consider myself one of the more fashionable guys at Barstool. Not a difficult title to take but it’s mine nonetheless. When you’re chubby, ugly and unfunny you really need to find an area of life to excel in. I chose the ability to get dressed as my area of expertise. And you know what? I’m 100% on board with blankets in the streets. I fucking love blankets. They’re like little human microwaves without the risk of cooking your sperm like it’s a Lean Cuisine. Know what I hate? Being cold. Know what else I hate? Looking bad in the winter. Outdoor blanket solves both my problems. I’ll be warm as can be plus have more swagger than Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.